Oh My Bloody Hell!!!

Oi what a day! At times I think I'm scatter brained. Other times I believe, to my core, that I am mentally challenged. That perhaps I should have been in that class in high-school. You know, the class for the special kids. Which, by the way, a couple of my cousins attended and I was such a bitch in my youth that I rarely waved back when they waved at me in the school hallway. I think they thought I was cool. In my defense, I was not. I was so close to being uncool that I thought the wave might just push me over the edge. So instead I'd smile and nod my head. Am I ashamed of my behavior? Yes, absolutely. But I've changed. Now I'm the type of person that has entire conversations with swaying, drunken, smelly aboriginal people in the Noodle Box, about how much change they need to get the chips that they want but can't afford. I just keep going "What? Speak up, I can't understand you. All I've got is this gold coin. But you can have it. You won't be able to afford the prawns though." And the people at Noodle Box just look at me like I'm an idiot. Which I might be.

But I digress.

On Friday the kids and I were invited to one of the local pools with a friend and her two boys. The plan was to meet up about 11:30 midday for a nice cool swim under the Australian sun. I've been here for a year and a half now. You think I would know something about the Australian sun midday. Not kind. Not kind at all. I 30spf'd up the kids and my top half (which is the strongest they sell here because science has shown that anything higher doesn't actually work better). I didn't put anything on my legs because I wanted a "bit" of sun and thought I would see if my friend had anything less than 30. Unfortunately she didn't, so I went without for just a bit to get sun and then slathered some on. Well here's a little something you didn't know. I like to talk. No really, I do. Yes, I know, it's hard to fathom. Anyway, my small amount of time in the sun without sunscreen was actually way more than a small amount. Thanks to my diarrhea of the mouth, I lost track of time and burned myself. Badly.

As I said, mentally challenged.

Now we know how much I adore (i.e. crave and require) your sympathy when I'm feeling tired, put-upon, or in pain. It's the first thing I think about when something happens. I say to myself "Self, you have got to tell them about this". "Them" of course being my loyal fan base of 4.

Well, I was in pain. I'm still in pain. This ain't no happy camper you're hearing from today. I'ma hurtin'. So I call up my neighbor and say "Get over here, I gotta show you something" and when she gets here she agrees to take my picture to show all of you.

Now, let's think about it. What is the best way to photograph a sunburn, especially one that is primarily on the lower back and upper back thigh. Awkward photo to say the least. Really, the resulting display of skin has too many similarities with internet nudie pictures. So as she starts to snap the pics, I get a serious case of the giggles followed by a serious case of the sillies. In other words, I acted a bit foolish and after three pictures, we decided that the whole idea was bunk and that I was just going to have to have you feel sorry for me sans photo! After all, bare skin on my 38 year old thighs looks a bit cottage cheese-ish. There is only so far I will go for the story.

Now, I know this is long....but stay with me on this.

About 30 minutes after that fiasco of a photo shoot, the kids and I decided to head out for some pizza. Nothing comforts a girl like pizza when she's upset about her body image. Can I hear an Amen?

While we're gone, Jason swings by the house to change for a Boys' Steak Night Out that he and some guys from work are having. Buzz, a good friend and his office partner is riding with him. Buzz is married to Helen and we socialize with them every once in a while. Great people. Buzz and Helen have Alex who is 12 and Buzz's by a first marriage. Essentially, they have a child but not one that lives in. We've been to their house for dinner before and out to restaurants, but they have never been to our house. They've dropped off and picked up before but have never been invited in. This is our fault and is generally because the place is an embarrassing wreck, but it's become a joke between the four of us. Buzz and Helen are never invited in.

Well, Jason's guilt got the best of him on Friday afternoon. Buzz was invited in. Not only were there dishes on the table and sticky spots on the floor, Jason decided to give him our new camera to entertain himself while Jason changed.

"Oh My Bloody Hell"!!!

Buzz is British and this is what I imagine he said when he ran across those pics as he stood amongst the sty that is our home. And he did run across the pics.

Sooooo, in the spirit of good blogging I decided "why not?".


Humiliating to say the least but I'm getting a little better at the Photoshop thing and was able to take out some of the dimples!

Thank goodness for advancements in digital photography!

Painfully honest,
Angie